Tuesday, April 13, 2010

On January 19th, 2010 I went in for a routine gynecology appointment. Susan, my gynecologist, discovered a new lump, and on February 9, 2010 my biopsy revealed that I have breast cancer; for those of you familiar with cancer, it's invasive ductile carcinoma, grade 2 of 3, HER-2 negative and Receptor positive, a 1.3 cm lump, stage 2 . Basically, there are 2 types of breast cancer, one responds well to alopathic treatment with a high success rate, one doesn't. Naturally, I have the difficult one! Cancer is highly prevalent in our family, 15 cases in my direct line, including my youngest brother and 2 aunts.
Having been in the spiritual, physical, and emotional healing arts for over 26 years, it is important to me to honor a combination of all healing modalities when appropriate. Alopathic treatment is traditional medical attention, hospitals and chemically made medication. Holistic treatment is natural and non invasive, accomplishing the same end result. It incorporates the body, emotions and spirit as a whole.
Immediately my family and I dove into traditional Native American ceremony. Three ceremonies and over 70 beloveds (this is the name I give you, as each and every one of you are so very beloved to me) came to give support and help with the healing process. We were all so touched by the overwhelming power of love, and not a dry eye in the tee pee (yes, tee pee!).

30 comments:

  1. Beautifully written, my dear! (Though sadly, things sound a bit more advanced than I had originally thought.) But we are all praying for your full healing

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  2. My prayers are always there with you . I knew how hard cancer is my family has a history fo cancer so I know how terrible it is to see young people suffer. My prayers and love to you .fingures crossed for u to geta speedy recovery and a painless treatment

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  3. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, POWERFUL, SPIRITUAL WOMAN TANI KHABBAZ AND I LOVE YOU SO VERY, VERY MUCH..

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  4. Hi, Tani.

    I had the same kind of cancer you have, but Stage 1 Grade 2.2. I refused chemotherapy, and only underwent surgery and radiation, as well as all of the homeopathic treatments at CTCA that I could get, watched 2 episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond a night to get my immune system boosted with laughter, and rented AB FAB from Netflix for the same effect. I know that this is a really crappy part of the emotional path we're on. I expressed it every night in a scrapbook to get my anger out.

    I acknowledge to you how difficult this is and I send


    Healing.
    Love.
    Peace.
    Nancy

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  5. Tani -
    I am SO so sorry to hear of this! I am somewhat familiar with cancer - breast cancer especially as my mom was diagnosed at age 40 and although has had 2 recurrences - the most recent being this past December (and the most serious) - she is on the healthy road again - amazingly so at her age (she is now 72) and just 4 months later. I believe that with your background and the obviously tremendous support that you have you will be well very soon. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you hugely!!!
    Jackie

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  6. Tani~
    The cougar is such a strong spirit helper! She will get you through this unscathed and wiser! Let her protect and guide you every minute and sink into her warmth. I love you and look forward to the next time our paths cross. Didn't know how to work "select profile" in ID section so hope it makes you smile that it says Anonymous!
    Robin xo

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  7. Tani.... thank you so much for this blog... I have been thinking about you and praying for you, and I know in my heart of hearts that you will get thru this. Your a strong beautiful person, who has so much left to do! If there is anything you need from me, let me know, otherwise I will continue praying for you....

    Love to you and Lars and Toshina,

    Pam

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  8. Ah Hao Tani
    Thank you for starting this blog so that we may all follow the journey because we care. I am certain that the knowledge you have will empower you with right action. Creator will take whatever is too heavy for you to carry and dispurse it into clear energy. I have been bringing you with me to all the lodge prayers I have been praying in and recently the Sundance lodge. You are Light which is a frequency higher than the density of physical form, which is only energy after all. I sing to you, sing Tani, let the vibration carry you high. I pray for you, pray Tani, ride the current of the most High. I see you Tani, see you Tani, and the essence of who you are inside. Align with your higher self and be free, free to choose your path, where ever it may lead, I support you, I hear you, I see you.
    Mieyoboo Lelu Lemita Pila na Lotanchila
    (I am grateful and I Love you!)
    Ho!
    Virginia Shimmering Light

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  9. Tani....everytime I see a new picture of you...you are more beautiful and I believe it's because you have given so much of yourself to so many. Tony and I are in your corner no matter what. I think of you daily and we dicuss your health often. This is just one of lifes trials that I know for certian you will overcome and with such grace and dignity...I feel this in my bones. I will continue praying for you...Mel

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  10. Tani, my thoughts and prayers are with you. a speedy healing will come. Love Larry

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  11. Tani,
    This blog was a wonderful idea. My prayers and thoughts have been with you and will remain so. You are a very strong person with a very large, strong support team. I believe you can and will beat this! You need to believe this also! The power of possitivity, family and friends is very strong and can carry you through this! You are loved!
    Deb <3

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  12. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    Loveyou, Karen

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  13. Tani, a woman called me today. She is in her 80's. Twenty years ago she developed tumors, went to a Qi Gong healer in Minnesota and the tumors could not be found after 5 days of treatment. Here's a big shout out to the universe to support you in your quest for full health! Paula

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  14. Dearest Tani- your a brave spirit, and during this don't let fear any fear overtake you- ever ever ever- explore, achieve and fly as high as you can to beat this. We are here for you and with you each step each day in any way we can. You have, since a young age, pursued divinity and i don't expect that to change anytime soon- go forth and slay dragons, our love Ava and Rawan

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  15. Hi, Tani. I was going to send you an email tonight and was pleasantly surprised to read about your blog. You have such caring friends sending you the best wishes and prayers in the Universe for your healing. I look forward to reading the blog and reading about the treatments you have chosen to clear away the cancer. With sincere intention. Love, Sara

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  16. Hi Tani,

    I am sending you loving healing musical throughts, dear friend.

    I hope to see you soon.

    Love,
    Lisa Coppola

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  17. Of course I meant thoughts. . . I am exhausted, time for bed.

    xoxox

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  18. Tani, I see your spirit in the cougar, the flower and the rose colors of this talking leaf. Whatever was, no longer is. Whatever is, has no power over you. The only power is your eternal spirit. I see it growing stronger and more vibrant with each passing moment, as you meet the enemy and befriend it, thus vanquishing it forever. I send love and admiration. Judy P.

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  19. Hi Tani,

    I am very sorry that you are going through this. It must be difficult trying to decide what to do. It is a complex decision; and you must be challenged by it. I am a believer in destiny with personal free will...but even if destiny wasn't real then I believe that out of all of our expriences growth and healing come either to us of to those we are in relationship with. If it weren't for this belief I would have abandoned ship a long time ago.

    I know you will be blessed with wisdom as each decision comes to you to be made.

    You are beautiful and strong. Your inner strength, wisdom and beauty will carry you on their wings; just close you eyes and journey with them.

    I pray for peace as you make each choice. I pray for comfort when you dont feel well. I pray for love to hold you up.

    We will talk when it is time.

    I love you. and I remember you.

    Cecelia

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  20. A beautiful idea to keep those close to you up to date! I LOVE the picture with you and the cougar - though I like the term mountain lion even better. This one looks gentle and looks like he is about to say something... "the cougar can teach you how to bring out your power and fill your heart with it in a manner that will enable you to take charge of your life." (Animal Speak) Seems to me that you DO that! Love you!

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  21. Dearest Daughter, Today I almost lost it, I guess I did when I felt you were not considering surgery. But then we drove on, found a really good rest., had baked brie, onion soup, fish and Key Lime Pie....oh, my! What good food and a few of your Daddy's jokes can do for the soul. I know you will continue to choose correctly for yourself. I love and believe in you. Your Mom

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  22. Dearest Tani, Aunt Shirley, Uncle Samir, Dar, his family and Tashina- I am so happy to see your photos, and to hear what all has to say- I do hope that east meets west and you utilize all the worlds deep resources to overcome this obstacle- please all love you so!- part of your research and life training insists on open minded options without discrediting years of study and work- as well as respecting natures deep roots to mother earth- love to you - Ava and Rawan

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  23. Dear Tani, You are surrounded in love and healing energy from so many dear friends. Your future can be nothing less than love, light, and healing. You are a whole and blessed child of the Universe. Let me add my love to that which envelopes you. Jaqi

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  24. may 2, and time is approaching, just want you to know that for mother's day you will be giving yourself a gift - we are thinking of you and sending you good thoughts daily- love always, Rawan

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  25. Dear Tani, and Aunt Shirley,
    We are wishing for you a peaceful and happy mother's day! Love always, diana, ava, rawan

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  26. Dear Tani and Aunt Shirley and family- Oh I am so glad- good news is always welcomed and treasured- we are celebrating today for you good health, thankful and happy- love Rawan

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  27. Hi Tani - your mom just sent me your blog - it is lovely - you are wonderful.

    Gazelle

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  28. Elizabeth HallowellMay 13, 2010 at 6:57 AM

    Hi Tani,
    It sounds like you have everything covered and are doing well. Thank you for including me in your newsletter. My prayers are with you & I hope to see you around the 'hood' soon. love to you, Betty Hallowell

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  29. Hey Tani , I've been following your progress and keeping everyone over here up to date. We're so glad you and your family are pulling through all this together . Thats what it's all about... Thanks for the inspiration. Bri

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  30. Hey Aunt Tani!
    This is your nephew Daniel Khabbaz!! My mom just told me about your blog site! I'm soooo glad to hear that your surgery went well and that the doctors said that you are 100% cancer free!:) Just want you to know that I've been praying for you and that I will always be here for you!!!! hope you pull through,
    Love From,
    Dan Khabbaz

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