Spirit of Cancer

A dear friend of mine, who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, asked me to speak about the "spirit" of cancer.  I'd like to speak about it because if you can recognize it, you may possibly be able to dispel it.
The Spirit of Cancer felt like a foreign presence in me.  Although minescule, it felt dark, disabling, and I felt as though I was not completely myself, in balance with myself or with life. It felt as though an energy within was working against me.  Similar to the feeling carried after having had an unresolved argument with someone, but more subtle.

 Although one may have cancer for years prior to discovering it, I did NOT feel it's presence until September 2009.  Once I learned to detect it's spirit, I was able to reflect back and recognize when it came into me.  I was in a head crunch at the time, splitting in two.  Going in opposite directions with my businesses, and personal relationship.  I was trying to compensate by being someone other than who I was, which brought me more agony.

When I think of what love is; patient (creating a space for one to just BE), very kind, allowing, soft, receptive and gentle, I realize I was living in the absence of it.  Not only by the pressure I was experiencing in my personal relationship, but my response of putting more pressure on myself.  

In "Conversations with God", Neale Walsch compared love to the color white saying something like this: White is not the absence of color, as many believe, but the combination/balance of all colors. Love is not the absence of feelings, such as anger, fearing hatred, but the combination of all feelings. How else can we understand compassion, if we have never experienced these feelings?

Through out my healing process, I learned to give myself time, nurture myself, pay attention to my needs and take extra time to feel and heal old as well as new feelings...feelings that is, that I thought I had already worked with!

Had I been able to keep the spirit of cancer outside my body, I believe I would not have needed the surgery. It would have remained contained.  Each time I went to the cancer center at the hospital or was around dear loved ones full of fear for me, the spirit returned.  Each time I went to a healing ceremony or did deep inner work on myself, it fled.

This was MY experience.  If you have an illness, apply what feels right for you. 

I send you all the love, support and healing from God/Godda that I can.